*This post is a goodbye post to a dear friend who’s moving, and promises to make no sense and ramble quite a bit about silly stories (the post makes no sense and rambles about silly stories, not the friend). If you still decide to read it, you’ve been warned.
My friends and I play a game. We call it the dollar game.
I don’t know how or why it started, but it gives us an outlet to act like third graders who come up with silly dares, most of which are not acted upon.
For instance: “I’ll give you one dollar if you go up to the pimply faced guy with the awful mullet, push his trashy girlfriend out of the way, and give him a big kiss.”
Which, of course, resulted in all of us arguing which one of us got to kiss him. We didn’t want to break “girl code,” so none of us did. Fighting over a mullet guy is just not worth it, you guys.
So then it was “I’ll give you one dollar if you write ‘Detroit Redwings’ as the champions of the NCAA basketball tournament on that giant empty bracket poster by our table.”
Pfffft. Too easy.
“Ok, ok fine. I’ll give you one dollar if you go ask that dude across the bar if his name is Roger and if he’s from the east coast. I swear I went out with him from eHarmony like a year and a half ago.”
“Done!” Game. On.
So my good friend marched right up to him. And sat there talking. And talking. And talking. And then marched back over to me and -
“Dude that is Roger. And he is from the east coast. And turns out I also went out with him on eHarmony and he wants to know why I didn’t call him back after a few dates and just how serious things are with my boyfriend and if it doesn’t work out can he still call me? Oh, and also, he says he has never seen you before in his life. You owe me a dollar.”
(I still can’t believe Roger didn’t remember our brief interlude over a glass of wine where he spoke only about his previous eHarmony and Match.com dates, after which me made me pay for myself. I guess I didn’t make the cut.)
Now that same good friend with the same great guy in her life and is moving out-of-state (sorry Roger). She dared me one last time.
“I’ll give you one dollar if you contact my boyfriend on Craigslist and ask to buy the awful plants that are in the background of the picture of his kitchen table he’s selling. I hate those plants.“
“Done!” Game. On.
Actual email: “So like …dude, man, how much for the table, chairs, and the plants? And like… what is the price for JUST the plants? I need plants.”
I got a response! (by the way, $30 for two ugly plants is way too much, dude. You’re never going to sell them at that price)
Actual email: “That’s a pretty ok price. I think. Could you maybe take a morer clearer picture of the plants and email it to me? Could you do one picture with a ruler next to them if you have one? If you don’t have a ruler, that is ok. Not a lot of people have rulers these days. Unless you have a ruler app on an iPhone. That could maybe work too.”
Turns out, not a lot of people actually do have rulers these days. It’s a sad state of affairs. And also gave me an idea for the perfect going away present.
Hey Suzanne. I’ll give you one dollar if you don’t move.
But just in case you don’t take me up on that – best of luck to you and Scott on your journey ahead.